06
Jan
08

KEEP IT ON THE BROWNLOWE: CONSUMER CULTURE GONE TOO FAR

emBrownlowe

Traveling can be full of exciting discoveries. If you’re a “LOST” fanatic like me, you are probably anxious about flying. To ease this anxiety I recommend you check out the wonderful magazine, SKYMALL, on your next flight. There you will find a variety of unneccessary products that you can order straight from your flight attendent (or online!)

Let’s review some of the most retardo products I found:
mini bridge

JAPANESE GARDEN BRIDGE: If you’re looking to add more “oriental flair” to your home garden, buy this bridge for only $119! It will guarantee to provide you with a lovely place for meditation and contemplation in your own backyard! Or maybe just for all the lady bugs and kittens considering this bridge is only 58″ long, 26.5″ wide! Oops!

Steak Iron
BRANDING STEAK IRON: I think they got a bit confused. Steaks are for eating, not branding!! You’re suppossed to brand the cows before they turn into steak! DUH!

pillow
PILLOW: God, I would LOVE to walk in on someone trying to crack out the neck pain with this one!

shoe
VARIOUS SOLE ATTACHMENTS: Now you can play golf, fish, hike, or go to a party in granola ville, USA with ONLY one shoe when you have various sole attachments to fit the right occassion.

OKAY, So obviously, someone in the production  printing process of those products were on something. That isn’t to say ALL products on SKYMALL are excessive, useless pieces of junk that add to the overall product pollution of planet Earth (err…Sky?). There ARE SOME products that I think could legitimently enhance your life.

Here are a couple that I think would make the lives of those in gaycondo better:

dino
IS IT ART?: Jon and Paul are freaks about art and Jon also is really into the Walking With The Dinosaurs thing. Why not gay/marry the two under this lovely hanging 3-D dino head?.

hut
CONCRETE SANDS: Beth and I are indecisive on where to take our vacation? New York City, Europe, Thailand? Since we are both really into LOST, I think it is a better idea to just order the tropical island grass hut to go! This would fit perfectly on the patio!

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2 Responses to “KEEP IT ON THE BROWNLOWE: CONSUMER CULTURE GONE TOO FAR”


  1. January 7, 2008 at 12:52 am

    That last one would be good for some kind of Gilligan’s Island themed house.


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