Jon: Found on Craig’s List…


…”Join my GAY street gang! -m4mm”

“Are you tough? Violent? Rough around the edges? You can’t be kept down? Do you think Jennifer Hudson is totally a better diva than Fantasia and you’d kick anyone’s ass who disagrees?

I’m starting up a gay gang! We’ll do all the things that tough street gangs do (pick fights, steal wallets, critique b-list actresses on the red carpet) but we’ll be comprised of gay men!

Now this gang isn’t fancy-pansy like the ones in West Side Story. Wait, who am I kidding? It’s EXACTLY like West Side Story. Only this time, Tony and Chino will have the cajones to actually get together, instead of wasting time on Natalie Wood (whose only good performance was in Rebel Without a Cause there I said it).

To join you’ll have to pass a rigorous test. We can’t tell you our gang name or our colors yet (and they change according to the Helmut Lang line), so you’ll meet us at an undisclosed location near the Santa Monica pier.

First, you have to find an unsuspecting straight couple (preferably on a date) and mug them. Take their money, but only grab the wallet or purse if it is Burberry, Fendi, or something comparable. And be sure to mention that you thought [insert whatever the girl was wearing] went out two years ago.

Second, you have to mastermind a huge drug sale. This will be unbelievably easy, since you’ll do it with E in the bathroom of The Abbey.

Third, you will be forced to get in a fight with one of the other gang hopefuls. The rest of us will be watching as you wrestle around, and you should be sure to tear some clothing and throw in a few light kisses and moans.

So if you’re tough enough, just email me and we can start our gang. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, as long as you are attractive and have a great body.”



2 Responses to “Jon: Found on Craig’s List…”

  1. March 5, 2008 at 5:07 am

    wow! this sounds like the best gang ever. i would really like to see how this drug sale goes down at the abbey though, since they totally have bathroom attendants. i bet things will get REALLY creative, if you know what i mean.

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