Paul: If Tom Cruise could “turn back time”…

…he’d still be gay.

Apparently Cher and Tom Cruise used to be an item back in the 80’s. That’s the gayest non-specifically gay thing a person can do, right? If there was any doubt in my find about his fagginess it’s totally gone now. Cher says she’s surprised by his recent behavior because he used to be a very private person. These days he’s so anxious about people finding out what a big homo he is that he finds up and coming actresses (zombie brides) to marry him in exchange for the boost to their careers. I’m betting he has a five year contract with Katie Holmes, and as soon as it’s up she’ll be out the door. Jump on Oprah’s couch all you want – you’re not fooling anyone, faggot. 


2 Responses to “Paul: If Tom Cruise could “turn back time”…”

  1. 1 The Bearded Traveler
    May 2, 2008 at 12:34 pm

    I’m currently reading Ray Davies’s (strange) autobio, and the Kinks played a
    Shindig show with Sonny And Cher. Cher seemed to have touched Ray: “She was
    concerned at how worried I looked on camera and how much I was frowning. She
    pushed my brow down, smoothed out my skin, and said, ‘You don’t want to look
    like a forty-year-old by the time you’re twenty-one.’ It’s ironic to look back
    on Cher’s career and realize that she would make a successful life for herself
    as a young-looking forty-something.”

    I don’t get, like… I don’t want to be base in my thoughts, but… I’m just
    wondering WHAT Tom does with these women, Nicole, Katie, if he IS gay. I dunno.

    What I DO know- this is SCARY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIl0VYQjaNY
    Scary, scary, scAAAAAry.

  2. 2 EM
    May 4, 2008 at 10:37 am

    NICE new blog pic!

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