Archive for January, 2009


Paul: Happy 88th Birthday Carol Channing…



Paul: Alan Cumming on Barack Obama’s Wang…

Ha Ha… “Cumming on Barack Obama’s wang”. Seriously though, here is what Mr. Cumming has to say on the subject: 


“I’d like to see Obama naked. I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises. I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size — with his comfort with his penis size.

“So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows. “Well, just look at him (Obama). Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself. Also, someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big.

Dude, you are such a fag… Not to say that if I saw Obama in the locker room I wouldn’t sneak a peek.


Jon: Menswear fall 2009 (part 1): The Bad….

First, the bad….

I know, I know. I say it every season, but for the most part I am not that excited about most of the collections for Fall 2009 that I have seen so far. Here are the four big bad trends I am seeing that (hopefully) everyone else in the fashion world will rally against with me….


 1.)  I would like to preface this first one by saying that I generally love goth clothes. In the modern day, goths are one of the few alternative subsets that tend to put a lot of time and thought into being well presented. Nicely tailored cuts, intricate adornment and (of course, timeless) head to toe black are the elements that usually keep gothic stylings in my favor. However, there is a particular flavor of goth that I can not stand: HELLRAISER GOTH. It is typified by it’s overly serious blunt lines, tech fabrics, floor lengh coats, and general creepiness. I saw the first Hellraiser movie when I was a kid and I think it ruined a little part of me forever…. aweful stuff….


 2.) Dear men,

Double breasted blazers don’t look good on you, I promise! You see these two guys? Look at their faces. See how they are totally skinny? Now look at their mid-sections. Gee, it kind of looks like they have a gut doesn’t it? It’s not gut though, it’s the double breast effect. It makes every man look 15% fatter. Now, imagine how it would make your normal sized body look?

Your welcome.



ps: Double breasted peacoats however look fantastic on every one and will make you look 15% more handsome. The end.



 3.) It would appear that some designers ar taking their inspiration from Dave Nevarro. It’s the only way I can explain how these terrible neo-glam looks made it on the runway. So sleazy! I feel like I am at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas doing shots of Jaeger off of a passed out Carmen Electra’s stomach circa 1997…. Black fur? Skinny scarves with V-neck tees? Floppy top hats? Seriously, just barf in my eyes so that I don’t have to look at this anymore.


4.) Wow guys! Way to juxtapose! How edgy! Like, I love how you took a pair of hideous small town gay club jeans from the International Male catalogue and then paired them with dress shoes and a jacket from the Dancing with the Stars Wardrobe closet! Great job!

But no, seriously, worst jeans ever. The ones on the left look like they are from the discount section at Ross…

ps: I am actually SUPER into bowties right now, so I kind of saddens me to see them dumbed down so much in the looks above.


Well, now that that is out of the way, you can look forward to my “best of” list which is coming up next….


Paul: Laser Bike Lanes…



I can’t decide whether this is a clever idea or Sharper Image-esque yuppie junk. I mean, if you are riding at night  you want drivers to look at you, not stare at the road around you. I suppose for a driver who has never seen this before the novelty of it would draw their attention more than a normal bike light, but I am not really sure how much better it is than a normal bike light.

I have personally never had any issues riding around Portland at night. I find that when coming to an intersection I actually feel a bit more confidant at night, especially on the less heavily trafficked residential streets I normally ride. If a car is coming at night they’ll have their lights on, so you’ll know it a lot sooner than you would during the daytime. I have never been one to wear reflective neon, though. If somebody hits my ass they better have some good insurance.

As far as I can tell the laser lane is just a concept at this point. I don’t know if it will ever make it to the market because the legal grey area. I am sure as soon as somebody with these got hit there’d be a huge battle over whether the light qualifies as a legitimate bike lane.



Dear dedicated readers,

Due to the *heavy, downer, media conspiracy* events of Sam Adams, gaycondo has turned into a pseudo political blog spawning hilarious image alterations, comics and witty commentary with big time page hits as a result!


After 8 years of the past US Administration dare we say that the biggest terrorists of all are those of the dominating cultural / social forces of the Christian Faith… 

Unfortunately, someone has been taking time out of their LAME-O day to sign up for Christian E-Zines such as EMailMinistry, Evidence for God from Science, Evidence for God Mailing List, and Free Devotional Subscription using the gaycondo e-mail address…

Christians sure do get off on plagues (remember that whole locust thing?) but e-mail plagues are just down right tacky!

We support all story tips, love letters and respectful non-degrading commentary but it isn’t fair to assume that we are agnostic, atheist or jewish gaylords (which we are by the way) by signing us up to religious propaganda mailing lists or accusing us of not being capable of raising children (btw, we love and feed three cats bitches!)…

In all reality though – we are just tired of the sensationalistic political drama that has been going on for the past weeks in Portland and regular Gaycondo programming will resume as normal in our upcoming posts…


Jon: “Language Is Restless (y-tron remix)” music video…

Sorry about the lack of (non-Sam Adams related) in depth blog posts from me lately. I have been putting a lot of my online creative energy into a project Em and I (a.k.a. Swallows) are doing to prepare for our upcoming music video. We are creating a dance video for the Y-Tron remix to our song Language is Restless off of “Cloud Machines”, our album from last year. It is going to feature several dancers from all over the world performing their original choreography to the song.

I wanted to give you a sneak peek at the first of many perfomers to submit their dance for the video. We will eventually have about ten of these to work with, which we will compile together into one video….


Jon: Sam Adams “Don’t Resign” rally recap…

Wow! What an amazing rally!

Last night I went to the “don’t resign” rally in support of Portland Mayor Sam Adams, who is currently under attack by the local media for lying about a sexual relationship he had with and 18 year old friend in 2005. There were probably 400-500 people gathered outside city hall last night carrying signs and chanting to show that they are behind Adams getting back to work (a repeatedy shouted mantra throughout the evening). It was really inspiring, especially in light of how one sided the local press has been in making it appear as though everyone in Portland is against Adams. I feel like this was one of the first opportunities that myself and other like minded individuals have had the chance to get a pro-Adams message out there in the press. Luckily, the event was highly publicized and covered by the local media, being aired live on several local TV channels.

I was also absolutely THRILLED to get to meet author and sex advice columnist Dan Savage. He is one of my favorite non-fiction writers, and if you haven’t read any of his books yet your making a big retarded mistake. I had been hoping to get to meet him at the rally, and was shocked that I actually ended up bumping into him at a coffee shop near city hall. Luckily, I was with Andy and Taylor, my good friends over at Digging to China. I was so nervous upon approaching Savage that I became totally mute…. So really, it is not so much that I met Savage. It is more like I froze up and watched as my freinds met him… Anyway, it was still fantastic!

Here is video of Dan Savage speaking followed by some of my pictures from the evening….

Me with my sign:


Oh my god, it’s me with with one of my favorite writers, the amazing Dan Savage!

And yes, he is just as dreamy up close as he is in his dust jacket photos….


Gaycondo super friend Nickey Robo posing with the opposite side of my sign

(it says “just” not “tust”):


Some other signs I liked:



p.s. Until he announces whether he is resigning or not, I promise to get back to business as usual here at Gaycondo and not write about Adams every day…

Got any good leads?

gaycondo [at] yahoo [dot] com

We Are In A Band!