Gaycondo: 2008 thanks but no thanks (part two)…

2008 has been a great year for music, art, fashion, film and definitely politics…all of which us gaycondo writers have detailed quite eloquently over the past 12 months.

However, like everything in life, there are a few things we have come across that are not welcome back in 2009…

Thanks, but no thanks!



Jon’s List:

Girl Crush, Boy Crush, Bromance, etc…

Dear Straight People. We don’t find it cute or endearing when you use these terms. It also doesn’t make you look inclusive and open minded. It just makes you look like a douche. Please stop it.

Modern Christmas Music
The only good Christmas music is depressing religious stuff performed by a choir and/or brass horn quintet. If it wasn’t around when our parents were children, then it is useless and irritating. If I have to here one more R&B rendition of “Little Drummer Boy” I will fucking explode. The only exception to this rule is the song “River” by Joni Mitchell because it is maybe the most depressing holiday song ever written.

Growing up on the east coast I, just like most of my peers, had a very irrational romanticized view of what California was like. This was most likely due to watching too much Saved by the Bell. California was a magical place full of smart, good looking people who didn’t care that I was a nerd. As I got older, my views on the state were informed by new stereotypes involving ultra-liberal gay vegan hippies. And always there was warm air, palm trees, and cloudless skies. In the past few years I have been to California several times on tour with Swallows, and what I have found each time is that all of my thoughts growing up were completely incorrect. In reality, I found nothing in California but grey rainy skies, cold winds, dirty air, assholes, prostitutes, and homeless people. Totally gross* And then in 2008, Prop 8 passed, which was the final validation for me: California fucking sucks.

Paul and I recently started illegally watching that show True Blood on the internet and though he pretends to like it, I get the feeling the secretly he hates it just as much as I do. Dumb plot, two dimensional characters, and worst acting ever. The only reason I have even seen the three episodes I has so far is due to the stupid hiatus that every good show is in the middle of. As soon as Lost and Ugly Betty are back, I am totally breaking up with True Blood. (Bonus Points to anyone who recognizes the photo to the right)


*sidenote: Arcata really is full of super liberal hippies and San Diego has perfect weather (and at least 5 nice people in it). So, I guess I really just hate all the stuff in between those two cities (ie: everything else).


5 Responses to “Gaycondo: 2008 thanks but no thanks (part two)…”

  1. January 2, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    lame and easy Paul Ruebans Buffy the vampire slayer the movie…next

  2. 2 EM
    January 2, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    you forgot fish burritos and the 101 red wood forest!

  3. 3 The Bearded Traveler
    January 6, 2009 at 2:49 am

    I don’t want no fish burrito- BEAN burrito!

    I have to stick up for Jimmy Eat World’s (who I know nothing
    about other than) version of “Last Christmas”.

  4. January 8, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    whatever dude! i am from san francisco and can say i’d take its gray skies, disturbing amount of homeless people and steep-ass hills over portland’s twee-ness, silk-screened patches of bikes with hearts around them, and general charming young hipster community with their vegan bake sales and blah blah blah! plus we all know it rains in the pacific northwest more than here. and the hippie population up there is OUT OF CONTROL.

    anyway, saved by the bell was clearly set in socal, where it really is 75 degrees all the time. it’s not our fault that everyone lumps all of california together. it’s a big state!

    sorry, but i have to “rep” here.

  5. January 8, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    also, socal is to blame for prop 8 passing. they are to blame for everything.

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