30
Jan
09

Jon: Menswear fall 2009 (part 1): The Bad….

First, the bad….

I know, I know. I say it every season, but for the most part I am not that excited about most of the collections for Fall 2009 that I have seen so far. Here are the four big bad trends I am seeing that (hopefully) everyone else in the fashion world will rally against with me….

fall09goth

 1.)  I would like to preface this first one by saying that I generally love goth clothes. In the modern day, goths are one of the few alternative subsets that tend to put a lot of time and thought into being well presented. Nicely tailored cuts, intricate adornment and (of course, timeless) head to toe black are the elements that usually keep gothic stylings in my favor. However, there is a particular flavor of goth that I can not stand: HELLRAISER GOTH. It is typified by it’s overly serious blunt lines, tech fabrics, floor lengh coats, and general creepiness. I saw the first Hellraiser movie when I was a kid and I think it ruined a little part of me forever…. aweful stuff….

fall09double

 2.) Dear men,

Double breasted blazers don’t look good on you, I promise! You see these two guys? Look at their faces. See how they are totally skinny? Now look at their mid-sections. Gee, it kind of looks like they have a gut doesn’t it? It’s not gut though, it’s the double breast effect. It makes every man look 15% fatter. Now, imagine how it would make your normal sized body look?

Your welcome.

Love,

Jon.

ps: Double breasted peacoats however look fantastic on every one and will make you look 15% more handsome. The end.

 

fall09sleaze

 3.) It would appear that some designers ar taking their inspiration from Dave Nevarro. It’s the only way I can explain how these terrible neo-glam looks made it on the runway. So sleazy! I feel like I am at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas doing shots of Jaeger off of a passed out Carmen Electra’s stomach circa 1997…. Black fur? Skinny scarves with V-neck tees? Floppy top hats? Seriously, just barf in my eyes so that I don’t have to look at this anymore.

fall09uglyjeans

4.) Wow guys! Way to juxtapose! How edgy! Like, I love how you took a pair of hideous small town gay club jeans from the International Male catalogue and then paired them with dress shoes and a jacket from the Dancing with the Stars Wardrobe closet! Great job!

But no, seriously, worst jeans ever. The ones on the left look like they are from the discount section at Ross…

ps: I am actually SUPER into bowties right now, so I kind of saddens me to see them dumbed down so much in the looks above.

 

Well, now that that is out of the way, you can look forward to my “best of” list which is coming up next….

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4 Responses to “Jon: Menswear fall 2009 (part 1): The Bad….”


  1. 1 Leslie
    January 31, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    I almost peed my pants when I read #4!

  2. 2 The Bearded Traveler
    February 4, 2009 at 12:05 am

    Well. I like suits with more buttons. I don’t think they look fat.
    You think they look fat?! Nah. I like the colorsss on the striped one.

    The top two pics look totally like Dune bad guys!!! A Lynchian horror scene.

    The bottom left guy look like, haahaahaaa, a bellboy/train conductor!
    Allll ABOARD the Hilton Lobby Special!!

  3. 3 The Bearded Traveler
    February 4, 2009 at 12:06 am

    ps – Oy yoy yoy, floppy top hats!!! Thumbs downnnnn.

  4. 4 The Bearded Traveler
    February 4, 2009 at 12:07 am

    pps- Okay, one last thing about stripey-suit guy-
    LOVE the suit…
    WHAT’S up with those gloves??
    Is he wearing bite-size-Snickers bags for gloves??


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