Jon: Vacation debate…

…to cruise or not to cruise?

Paul and I don’t get to take vacations too often (once or maybe twice a year) and they are always spent with our families. This is fantastic. We are lucky enough to have families worth spending time with, which is a not common enough situation. However, I have decided that Paul and I must take a vacation just the two of us. In my mind, there are exactly two types of romantic vacations that a couple can take: enriching or relaxing.

Basically: Europe vs. a Cruise.

Though I really want to go to Europe eventually, I feel like the money exchange rate at the moment would not make this a smart choice. Also, if we go overseas I would like to take at least 2-3 weeks off of work, which is not possible for both of us any time soon. A cruise however is both affordable (usually around $800-$1200/person) and short (1 week). Not to mention, stress free. Right now, a cruise is clearly the best choice.

Unfortunately, this dialogue has all been in my head, and when I approached Paul about it he was not to jazzed on the whole cruise thing. Not because he has anything against tropical, non-mentally stimulating relaxation, but more so because cruises force you to be in closed quarters with a bunch of totally lame d.b.’s.

Essentially, we have three types of cruises to choose from, all of which I will detail below. Which should we pick though?

Help us decide by commenting…


1.) Gay Cruise:

This is obviously the first style of cruise that came to mind for us when we were imagining this type of vacation. I mean, we are totally gay. In real life we mostly hang out with other queer folk anyway, so why not vacation with a bunch of them too?

The problem, as displayed by this retarded picture, is that gay folks on cruises are there to do just that: cruise. I mean, a gay cruise is largely just a gay nightclub on water right? And Paul and I don’t really enjoy hanging out in gay clubs  here in Portland, so why would we want to be trapped in one for a whole week? Not to mention, based on the pictures on gay cruise websites, it would appear that most of the guys we would be surrounded by would not be our type of gay… (ie not from Portland).

The upside of course is that I have an entire collection of inappropriate bathing suits that I never get an excuse to wear, AND I started going to the gym this year, so now I actually look good in them…. *sigh*




 2.) Straight Cruise


Straight cruise….

Look at these assholes, right? I mean, mostly (especially when you count the middle of the country) straight people are pretty awful… And mostly they really, really, don’t like gay people.

Example: Paul and I recently went on a family vacation to Las Vegas. We had a great time, but totally got stared at and homophobically cat called several times. We also had a terrible anti-queer restaurant experience.  The way I see it, straight cruises are just Las Vegas on water, and Las Vegas is full of boring assholes.



3.) Gay Family Cruise

A friend who I was recently discussing this dilemma with brought up this third option, which hadn’t even occur ed to me before.

Though this style of gay cruise would obviously be a little less scandalous, it would also most likely be a lot less fun. I’m pretty sure that a couple doesn’t have to havechildren to participate, but I’m sure we would be in a small minority. Not to mention we would likely be completely surrounded by screaming 5 year olds at every turn which doesn’t sound particularly relaxing…

Plus, innappropriate bathing nsuits would be completely off the table, and what’s the point of going on a cruise if you can’t wear ridiculous resort wear you would never put on around your friends?




9 Responses to “Jon: Vacation debate…”

  1. February 13, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    I’m going on a st8 cruise. i’ll let you know how it is!

  2. 2 gaycondo
    February 13, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Excited to here about how it goes. Where are you traveling? We are debating between Hawai and Mexico….

  3. February 13, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    Gay dad’s still wear inappropriate swimwear regardless of kids. Kids really don’t care about the great trunks versus speedo debate, so the family cruise could work. A friend of mine and his husband just did the whole gay cruise to Alaska and had a great time and they are a 9 year super settled nonparty couple.
    I have tons of friends who go to Hawaii (we’ve been thinking of that ourselves after the court case is over) so it’s fairly cheap and fun, but filled with runaway Portlanders

  4. February 14, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Totally go “gay cruise”. straight people are lame. you’d probably find two or three worth talking to on a cruise. and children. ugh. children, no matter if they’re with gay or straightees, just ugh. you’d be throwing them over the railing left and right two days into the cruise.

    I’m with paul though. go to europe and stick to an eastern european place not on the Euro. Hungary is awesome! Poland is supposedly dirt cheap.

  5. 5 Nate
    February 16, 2009 at 8:47 am

    You should cruise TO somewhere gay. Go on a straight cruise to Puerta Vallarta or a Meditteranean one that stops at Mykonos or something like that. You then get less nightclub and greater variety. Or, since it sounds like you don’t want to feel “trapped”, don’t go on a cruise at all, go straight to a combo destination like Amsterdam or Hungary or Puerta Vallarta that offers gay stuff without trapping you.

  6. 6 gaycondo
    February 16, 2009 at 9:46 am

    we have been talking resort instead of cruise recently which will help with the whole “trapped” thing…

  7. 7 gaycondo
    February 16, 2009 at 9:53 am

    I’m sensing some sarcasm here…
    We like plenty of straight people, don’t get us wrong. We like you Ryan, and you’re straight! However, I don’t want to feel uncomfortable on our vacation, and believe it of not, most straight people really don;t like gay people. Like in a unabashadly staring and commenting way. Most of these people live outside of urban centers, so you and I aren’t aroiund them all the time. ON a cruise though, they will make up the majority of those on board, which we know based on the way people vote on gay civil rights issues…
    On a gay cruise the people would be lame, but at least we would feel more safe.
    Fuck, I just want to see sunlight, Portland is so drab this time of year…

  8. 8 Leslie
    February 18, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    ………….okay, so the pic of the couple dancing?? That guy is totally gay!! BTW – I am unfortunately straight but I LOVE LOVE LOVE etc. etc. gay men and women!!

    PS – I have taken a cruise as well. It’s kitchy fun but unless you go on the biggest ship available, it gets boring after a while because there’s only so many places you can go and drinks are NOT cheap! Not to mention the entertainment is way lame!

  9. 9 Chris
    February 25, 2009 at 12:27 am

    I would hope AT LEAST that the drinks were cheap…
    or the seasick medicine, anyway. :^/

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