Jon: Apparently, it is just a number…

As those of you who know me in real life are aware, I have been going through an (admittedly stupid) quarter life crisis for the last year or so that has included:

1.me joining a gym 

2. me starting an irrational fear of the world ending (usually while I am trying to fall asleep)

3. me actually quiting smoking this time for real again for the first time

4. me giving up dairy, eggs, and about 90% of my previous meat consumption

5. me getting married

6. me buying a house

7. me growing a beard and changing my hair style

With the exception of number 2 on that list, these really are all very good life choices. Generally speaking, I am very happy with the direction my life has been taking. Which begs the question: what is the point of the age “crisis” I have felt hovering above me for the past year or so? How can I all at once feel so good about my life and so scared about the future?

One fact I keep coming back to over and over if the death of a friend several years ago. He was much younger than I am now, but died from sudden and unexpected health complications while on a morning  jog. This has been weighing on me as of late and I just can not seem to stop thinking about it.

What if I die at the gym today? Or what if I trip while waiting for the train in the morning and get crushed like that teenager did while riding her bike downtown a few months ago? What if I have a brain aneurysm like my mom’s friend did when I was a kid and never even finish typing this sentence?


I recently found this website called The Age Project where you look at pictures of people, guess their age, and then find out how old they actually are. I find it oddly comforting in the midst of obsessing over my age to realize that the difference between a teenager and a 30 year old can be so undetectable…. go waste some time at the site and let me know what you think….



ps: sorry for being a debbie downer… lift your spirits by watching the video after the jump….


3 Responses to “Jon: Apparently, it is just a number…”

  1. March 13, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    sweetheart have you been drinking alone again?

  2. 2 EM
    March 15, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    just remember: 40 is SOOOOO the new 30.

  3. 3 Eddie
    March 16, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    I can relate. For some reason, this birthday, 24, was the one that made me have the same freakout. Most of my freakout centered around artistic achievement though. I was all twisted up about it, then I thought about Kurt Vonnegut who started writing in his mid thirties to go onto international recognition. Another thing that helped was talking to some 20 year olds, it really put me in perspective, like, I get to do/have done most of the stuff that they are aching to do/have done, and it made me realize that I’m doing just fine. Life is not passing me by. Everyone I know who is over 30 or 40 says that all that stuff we worry about now, like, partner/wife/husband, house, just kind of happens anyway regardless of our worry and efforts to influence it. You should travel though, that’s the one thing I’ve heard often, travel before 30, because after then, it’s alot harder.
    anyway, hope that helps,

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