…Oh wait, she’s just a Jehovah’s Witness
The other day I opened my mail to find a hand written letter from a woman named Mrs. Helene Wesley addressed to Ms. Vanda Davidson. That’s my name, but I’m clearly not a woman. There was also a flier for an upcoming seminar entitled How Can You Survive the End of the World? What disturbs me is that this all-day event is taking place three times at Memorial Coliseum from May 22-24. Memorial Coliseum is a pretty massive venue, I mean Barry Manilow played there, are there really enough people in Portland interested in this kind of shit to fill it up three times??? Also, the city owns Memorial Coliseum, shouldn’t they be a little more discerning about who they rent it out to? Anyway, here’s what the letter looks like:
I suppose this is better than her knocking on my door, but I have to wonder, who the fuck takes the time to send a hand written letter to a complete stranger? Obviously, someone who is bat-shit crazy! Since my job entails a lot of work with the mentally ill I contemplated sending her my business card.
I have never really dealt personally with a Jehovah’s Witness, but growing up in the South I have had my fair share of encounters with pathologically religous people. I can tell you that for the most part they are not very bright. Doesn’t she know that she could save herself a lot of time if she used a computer or photocopier? I picture her toiling away for hours on end writing these letters to people all over town and it makes me laugh. If you care, here’s an instructional video about what Jehovah’s Witnesses are into: