Archive for the 'nostalgia' Category


gaby: your special halloween programming part 2: the drew and i


Did anyone else have the urge this summer to write a book called “Drew and Drewlia,” where you would talk about how Drew Barrymore, and her winsome Terri-Nunn-from-Berlin two-tone hair and her late-in-life tongue ring and her whole thing where she just kind of seems so Alive! With Pleasure! all the time and her image as someone who is kind of possibly sort of self-actualized (for a famous person, at least), guided you through the pain and horror of your Quarterlife Crisis? I know that I had that urge. I’ll let you know when I’m finished with the book. I’m stuck on the chapter where I re-create “starring in Poison Ivy” right now, but I’ll let you know how the rest shakes out.

My point is, I love Drew, and that was the rationale behind today’s horror film pick, the Stephen King adaptation “Cat’s Eye”, which stars a wee baby Drew Barrymore as the chubby cheeked kid who ties together several vignettes in this horror anthology film. Guess what? It turns out that that was a mistake! Wee baby Drew has little in common with beloved kooky adult “your goddess rose is your woman power!” Drew, and thus has little to offer her Drewish fans besides her cute little baby face. But anyway, there is more to this movie than Drew, and unfortunately it is all bad so get ready!

Do you remember that Onion article, “I don’t even remember writing ‘The Tommyknockers’!” by Stephen King? Here, read it, its funny: Anyway, it turned out later on, after Stephen King came out and started talking about the really bad drug problems he had had for years, that there actually were books that he barely remembered writing! ‘Cujo’ was one of them. And I would like to posit that ‘Cat’s Eye’, the book that this movie is based on, is probably another one. I know this is not a cool or literate thing to admit, but sometimes I fucking love Stephen King! Sometimes his books are just weird and scary and baroque and bizarre and supernatural and I just fucking love them. Of course, they can also get bad, and they never get quite as bad as when he strays from the supernatural. This is movie all just super-goofy 80s stuff–kind of like “thirtysomething” but with a tiny troll who tries to steal your breath while you’re sleeping (that’s not a metaphor, that’s what the movie is about). Lots of shoulderpads and weird gags about cigarettes. Thumbz down.


gaby: your special halloween programming part 1: in which i plan to watch a horror movie a day for the rest of october


Oh my god, guys, do you realize it is almost Halloween?! I just got back from a trip to Eastern Europe, and I have to say, despite whatever other things I sometimes feel about the US, I am so happy to live in a country where we have a fun national holiday devoted to the terror, anxiety, and agony of the unknown! I am all about Halloween, because it is the only holiday that really touches on all of my interests:
1. werewolves
2. parables and archetypes
3. candy
4. having everyone admit that everything every day is kind of hideously scary oh my god just the uncertainty of it all, you know?? It’s amazing that we can even get out our front doors sometimes!!
4a. but also admitting that that terror of uncertainty can sometimes be the big sexy thing that keep life interesting and exciting
5. days when it is socially acceptable to tape a headless rubber mummy to your door
6. haunted houses!
7. fake blood in public

I mean, really think about it! Think about the amazing privilege that we all get, a single special day a year when we finally get to tape a headless rubber mummy to our front door (if that is what you strongly personally desire to do all the rest of the year)(I know that I do!).

I know I am basically the Halloween equivalent of someone who spends all of November making little Christmas tree angels out of toilet paper tubes, but I do not care. As far as I am concerned, it is the only holiday that is a celebration of fun and wonder, without being ruined by a really obvious and heavy-handed religious part (yes, duh, I know there is a spiritual history of Halloween, stop interrupting me) or having to do boring stuff with your family. And you can walk around in a dinosaur costume if you want to! Anywhere outside your house that you like! Even into a bar!

Anyway, so since I was away for a lot of October, I am a little behind on my Halloweening, which I normally begin at the very top of October. SO: I am kicking it into overdrive for the remainder of the month. Please get ready for some specialty Halloween programming from me on this blog over the next few days, including: things that are scary, things that are not scary, daily horror movie reviews, non-daily candy reviews, and precious Halloween memories.

First order of business: I have decided to try to watch a horror movie a day for the rest of October. I’m still kind of jet-lagged, which leaves me waking up at the unholy hour of 6:45 am. A terrible time to be awake (if you ask me), but an amazing time to watch horror movies! This morning, I watched a horror movie that was so absorbing I almost forgot to go to work! And that movie was called:

TRICK ‘R TREAT (2007), dir. Michael Dougherty
Holy balls, people, this movie is so good! It is one of those movies that is composed of four vignettes, and I just figured, I’ll watch one or two, and then leave for work, right? Wrong! Omg, so so so wrong. This movie is so fun and goofy and gross and genuinely funny and even really seriously spooky, I could not tear myself away–it gets all the Halloween feelings just right. It’s nothing like most horror movies you see around these days, the ones with all the dumb sex and then girls crying and running and realistic-looking zombies and fake-feeling everything else and weird graphic victimization that makes you kind of uncomfortable. This film takes place in a much campier, more stylized universe, a place that has more in common with “Buffy” and “Tales from the Crypt” than “Saw”–it does real unreality better than any horror film* I’ve seen since “Scream.” Yes, I am praising it that highly!

Set in a suburban midwestern town on Halloween night, the film follows four separate (but interwoven) stories centering on: a campily menacing school principal dealing with trick or treaters, a group of tweens off to do something unsettling with some stolen jack o lanterns, an old man who’s alone in the house (or is he???? omg of course he’s not!) and some Halloween girls gone wild. It’s also not sexist or racist or homophobic–I know that is sort of a weird thing to praise it for–like, shouldn’t all movies be that way?– but as a long time horror fan, I know that I sometimes have to suffer some sexism or other yucky stuff to get through a halfway enjoyable horror movie. I am pleased to report that this movie is not like that all!

It’s also really beautifully shot–it was produced by “X-Men”‘s Bryan Singer, so I am guessing some serious cash went into it, and it shows. The dark color palette is moody and gorgeous, and you know what, it has to be really fucking moody and gorgeous to get me to notice it, because I don’t pay attention to any visual details ever in my life, like sometimes my roommate gets a haircut and it takes me two months to notice. But I noticed how lush and pretty this film looked for a straight to DVD horror movie. And god knows why it was dumped straight to DVD! The movie was originally scheduled to be released in theaters for Halloween 2007, and for whatever mysterious reasons, never saw the light of day until its DVD release this past month. I think it is lame that in a world where something like “Paranormal Activity” gives everyone a boner (even though it lacks craftsmanship or story development or also a lot of other things) just because it is not the same old “Saw Part 47” nonsense, people don’t get to have an amazing Halloween delight like “Trick ‘R Treat” pushed in their faces the way it should be. Well, I am pushing this in your face right now! if you like horror movies at all–say, if you’re unsqueamish enough to watch and enjoy “Scream”–please totally go out and rent this movie this Halloween season, you won’t be sorry. When I walked out of my house, which is on an exremely crowded urban block, this morning right after finishing this movie, I felt the same combination of terror and delicious delight in my own isolation and all the unknown things going on around me that made me first go wild for Halloween as a kid.

Oh also, don’t look at the Wikipedia page, it ruins like every single surprise in the movie. My week of horror movies feels kind of shot now, though–what can I rent that will be as good as this? If you have any suggestions, pleeeeeeeeeeeease leave ’em in the comments!

* I am using the “horror film” qualifier because I think there are a bunch of non-horror directors who do real unreality better, but this isn’t about them!


Paul: The Lollipop Generation…


I must see this film.

This was apparently filmed sporadically over 13 years and includes Vaginal Davis, Jena Von Brucker, and Calvin Johnson. It looks fantastic. If you have a copy or know how to get one you’re my new best friend.


Jon: Meet Freddy 10…


To find out exactly who Freddy is, check out the first post of the series here.

To see all of the posts, click the link in the bar to the right.


 33.) “Aug. 1986. Our three boys, Jonathan, Freddy, and Ryan.”

(Gaycondo side note: That’s me and my brother. I’m on the left.)


 34.) “Grandma likes to hug Freddy. Do you like to be hugged? Go hug Momma, Daddy, and Brother.”


 35.) “Freddy says, ‘Let me get up there also’. All-bran and Cheerio says ‘no’.”


36.) “Freddy has a little sister now. Her name is Fredericka. We like to call her Ricky. Grandma thinks it is nice that Freddy has someone to play with.”


KEEP IT ON THE BROWNLOWE: My favorite childhood Horror-suspense flicks

Confession time: I have no vivid memory of seeing The Goonies.

On my behalf, I realize this simple fact is a social deflater in many of my conversations and I try to avoid it at all costs.

 Especially if:

A. a person I am speaking with happened to be born around 1980 or had a sibling born during this time. (I was the first born child during 1984 and thus have no recollect of this classic film due to a slight generational difference) 


 B. if a person says one of their top 10 reasons for moving to Portland was because The Goonies was filmed in nearby Astoria, Oregon).

While The Goonies probably requires some sort of brain module to understand and remember, I was simply too young to seek out and appreciate.

When I was 8 years old, I would defintely say my favorite movie genre was horror-suspense. At this age, I hung out with my older cousins whom were interested in what they perceived to be “adult” film and novels, particularly those by Steven King. I tried to emulate their pre-teen bravery while I watched the terrifying clown-tastic, IT … yet in reality, I was scared shitless. In fact, based on this movie, I was introduced to my most memorable childhood nightmares.

Later on, my cousins and I watched another Steven King film, The Stand. This film dealt with the horrific possibility of the end of the modern world through the triumph of a highly contagious plague. Futhermore, the plague and destruction of humanity seemed to be moderated by  an illuminati of evil powers. Even today, I am still intrigued by this biological fatlity which could occur during our lifetime.

A fan made a short preview to this really loooong movie ::::::::::::

Looking back, I believe it was The Stand which made me interested in conspiracy theories, gruesome apocalypse and multi-dimensional epic TV shows like Lost.

On the other hand, I was an overt Disneyfag and thoroughly enjoyed innocent Disney-fied children’s “scary” movies such as Hocus Pocus, starring Bette Midler (duh!). However, my viewing tendancies weren’t so innocent seeing as I mostly watched Hocus Pocus to gay out to the “then-hardly-nobody” Sarah Jessica Parker. OH THE WHORE – I MEAN, HORROR!


Jon: Speaking of Fashion…

…here is my new favorite outfit.

I have decided to skip over the whole early 90’s revival thing (flannels, floral dresses, comfortable jeans, keds) and get straight to the next big trend: neo-mid 90’s. It’s all very Chumbawamba, Yes, I said it. Chumbawamba.

I’ve been enjoying Gingham prints for the last couple of seasons, and think they fit in nicely with the blue-blood tartan themes shown in so many of the current Fall collections (most notably Dolce and Gabbana, though they have taken it a bit far).

The pants are from the new Diesel capsule collection, Black Gold. They are tight as hell and have zero stretch, but thier hotness is totally worth the whole not being able to sit down thing.

The rest of the look:

Biker Jacket: Johan Lindberg

Plaid Shirt: Insight

Torn Sweater: Adeline (Totally from Hot Topic, yo.)

Grey and Black Paint Oxfords: Kenneth Cole


Jon: Meet Freddy 9…


To find out exactly who Freddy is, check out the first post of the series here.

To see all of the posts, click the link in the bar to the right.

28.) “Freddy packed his suitcase. He would like to make a trip. Can he come and see you?”

29.) “Three strikes you’re out. Freddy likes to play ball. Grandma is the pitcher and Grandpa is the catcher.”

30.) “Freddy doing what little boys do.”

31.) “Freddy trying to get Darland’s attention (Grandpa’s).”

32.) “Andy is sitting in Freddy’s chair. He is telling him about how to plant and grow watermelon.”

Got any good leads?

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