Did anyone else have the urge this summer to write a book called “Drew and Drewlia,” where you would talk about how Drew Barrymore, and her winsome Terri-Nunn-from-Berlin two-tone hair and her late-in-life tongue ring and her whole thing where she just kind of seems so Alive! With Pleasure! all the time and her image as someone who is kind of possibly sort of self-actualized (for a famous person, at least), guided you through the pain and horror of your Quarterlife Crisis? I know that I had that urge. I’ll let you know when I’m finished with the book. I’m stuck on the chapter where I re-create “starring in Poison Ivy” right now, but I’ll let you know how the rest shakes out.
My point is, I love Drew, and that was the rationale behind today’s horror film pick, the Stephen King adaptation “Cat’s Eye”, which stars a wee baby Drew Barrymore as the chubby cheeked kid who ties together several vignettes in this horror anthology film. Guess what? It turns out that that was a mistake! Wee baby Drew has little in common with beloved kooky adult “your goddess rose is your woman power!” Drew, and thus has little to offer her Drewish fans besides her cute little baby face. But anyway, there is more to this movie than Drew, and unfortunately it is all bad so get ready!
Do you remember that Onion article, “I don’t even remember writing ‘The Tommyknockers’!” by Stephen King? Here, read it, its funny: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33676 Anyway, it turned out later on, after Stephen King came out and started talking about the really bad drug problems he had had for years, that there actually were books that he barely remembered writing! ‘Cujo’ was one of them. And I would like to posit that ‘Cat’s Eye’, the book that this movie is based on, is probably another one. I know this is not a cool or literate thing to admit, but sometimes I fucking love Stephen King! Sometimes his books are just weird and scary and baroque and bizarre and supernatural and I just fucking love them. Of course, they can also get bad, and they never get quite as bad as when he strays from the supernatural. This is movie all just super-goofy 80s stuff–kind of like “thirtysomething” but with a tiny troll who tries to steal your breath while you’re sleeping (that’s not a metaphor, that’s what the movie is about). Lots of shoulderpads and weird gags about cigarettes. Thumbz down.