Posts Tagged ‘cruise


Jon: Gay Cruise Update….

jon new logo

Regular Gaycondo readers have heard more than their fare share of boring news about me and Paul’s big gay cruise to Mexico this Fall….but, whatever. I’m over excited about the still 5 months awayvacation, so that’s what I’m going to blog about, deal with it.

First and foremost, I have officially purchased the first of two inappropriate bathing suits I plan to bring along with me for the trip. So here it is, my stupidly over priced Aussie Bum bathing suit:


There is a ridiculously over dramatic promotional video for this particular style ( 70’s meteorite!) as well:

In other cruise news, today I discovered a website where people going on upcoming cruises can post their photos. It’s honestly kind of amazing. Here are some of my favorites:



…being gay…


…can be totally…




Jon: Cruise and Inappropriate Bathing Suit Update….

So it is (almost) official: Paul and I will be going on a cruise to Mexico next fall (which unfortunately feels like a thousand years from now…) via Atlantis Cruises. I’m really excited! The boat we will be aboard is apparently the largest cruise ship in the world. It is so big that is has a freaking ice skating rink and a main street style shopping center…

As a result of over excitement, Paul and I decided to go shopping for ridiculous gay cruise bathing suits today…. Paul hasn’t found one he loves quite yet, but I bought the following number by Aussie Bum:


…and no, I will not be wering it with a tardy cowboy hat from the International Male Catalog.


After doing this post, I was looking at the picture above when I noticed that, oh my god, this bathing suit becomes transparent when wet! I have no desire to put my pubes on display for an entire cruise, so I am returning it… BOO! Lucky for me though, that means I get to continue my my hunt and try on a million more bathing suits. I’ll let you know when I find the right one…


Jon: Vacation debate…

…to cruise or not to cruise?

Paul and I don’t get to take vacations too often (once or maybe twice a year) and they are always spent with our families. This is fantastic. We are lucky enough to have families worth spending time with, which is a not common enough situation. However, I have decided that Paul and I must take a vacation just the two of us. In my mind, there are exactly two types of romantic vacations that a couple can take: enriching or relaxing.

Basically: Europe vs. a Cruise.

Though I really want to go to Europe eventually, I feel like the money exchange rate at the moment would not make this a smart choice. Also, if we go overseas I would like to take at least 2-3 weeks off of work, which is not possible for both of us any time soon. A cruise however is both affordable (usually around $800-$1200/person) and short (1 week). Not to mention, stress free. Right now, a cruise is clearly the best choice.

Unfortunately, this dialogue has all been in my head, and when I approached Paul about it he was not to jazzed on the whole cruise thing. Not because he has anything against tropical, non-mentally stimulating relaxation, but more so because cruises force you to be in closed quarters with a bunch of totally lame d.b.’s.

Essentially, we have three types of cruises to choose from, all of which I will detail below. Which should we pick though?

Help us decide by commenting…


1.) Gay Cruise:

This is obviously the first style of cruise that came to mind for us when we were imagining this type of vacation. I mean, we are totally gay. In real life we mostly hang out with other queer folk anyway, so why not vacation with a bunch of them too?

The problem, as displayed by this retarded picture, is that gay folks on cruises are there to do just that: cruise. I mean, a gay cruise is largely just a gay nightclub on water right? And Paul and I don’t really enjoy hanging out in gay clubs  here in Portland, so why would we want to be trapped in one for a whole week? Not to mention, based on the pictures on gay cruise websites, it would appear that most of the guys we would be surrounded by would not be our type of gay… (ie not from Portland).

The upside of course is that I have an entire collection of inappropriate bathing suits that I never get an excuse to wear, AND I started going to the gym this year, so now I actually look good in them…. *sigh*




 2.) Straight Cruise


Straight cruise….

Look at these assholes, right? I mean, mostly (especially when you count the middle of the country) straight people are pretty awful… And mostly they really, really, don’t like gay people.

Example: Paul and I recently went on a family vacation to Las Vegas. We had a great time, but totally got stared at and homophobically cat called several times. We also had a terrible anti-queer restaurant experience.  The way I see it, straight cruises are just Las Vegas on water, and Las Vegas is full of boring assholes.



3.) Gay Family Cruise

A friend who I was recently discussing this dilemma with brought up this third option, which hadn’t even occur ed to me before.

Though this style of gay cruise would obviously be a little less scandalous, it would also most likely be a lot less fun. I’m pretty sure that a couple doesn’t have to havechildren to participate, but I’m sure we would be in a small minority. Not to mention we would likely be completely surrounded by screaming 5 year olds at every turn which doesn’t sound particularly relaxing…

Plus, innappropriate bathing nsuits would be completely off the table, and what’s the point of going on a cruise if you can’t wear ridiculous resort wear you would never put on around your friends?



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