Paul: My Plan to Get Filthy Rich…

…by suing the pants off Hooters!


Thanks to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 it’s illegal for businesses to discriminate on the basis of gender, yet over 40 years after passage of that law Hooters refuses to hire male servers in their restaurants. How do they get away with it, you ask? When men sue them for discrimination, Hooters pays them to make them go away. If Hooters were to reclassify itself as entertainment along the lines of strip clubs the courts would agree that being female (with large tits) is a bona fide occupational qualification, but Hooters insists that they are a family restaurant. If your neighborhood family restaurant like Applebees refused to hire female servers you’d think it was fucked up, right? Well this is really no different. As a longtime food server I am more than qualified to perform the duties associated with a job at Hooters. To make my case (and make some money) I need a hot, straight-looking girl with big tits and minimal restaurant experience. We apply on the same day, if the hot girl gets the job even though I have more experience there’s a damn good case that I’ve been discriminated against. Also, if the hot girl is straight I could sue for discrimination based on my sexual orientation pursuant to a new Oregon law. When I file a lawsuit they’ll settle my claim and I’ll split the cash with my hot girl accomplice, I think it would be at least into 5 figures. If you live in Portland and fit the above description drop me a line, Gaycondo comes with a mortgage and I have to pay it somehow.


9 Responses to “Paul: My Plan to Get Filthy Rich…”

  1. 1 Nickey Robo
    February 20, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    hellllllloooooo, why didn’t you ask me!? I will dye my hair blonde, but I will not lose any weight. I will also be sure to wear my best bra.

  2. 2 gaycondo
    February 20, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Have you ever waited tables?

  3. 3 gaycondo
    February 20, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    Also, you’d have to take your piercing out and wear dumb mall clothes for the interview.

  4. 4 gaycondo
    February 20, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    DUDE you should get JULIA to do it…

  5. 5 Nickey Robo
    February 20, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    I worked in that lunch cart and I was a prep cook for awhile… so, uh, kind of!

  6. 6 gaycondo
    February 21, 2008 at 12:16 am

    Alas, I talked to my teacher about it and he says that they have abandoned their family-friendly persona because they were going broke settling all those claims(though they still have a kid’s menu.) A lot of guys got rich that way in the late 90’s early 2000’s. The new jackpot is Curves For Women gyms, they don’t hire any men. I doubt I have legitimate skills to work there, except maybe the front desk, but I know the perfect gender discrimination get-rich-quick scheme is out there for me somewhere.

  7. February 21, 2008 at 9:14 am

    I’m sure you’ll think of something 😉

  8. 8 Nickey Robo
    February 21, 2008 at 11:55 am

    You know, I think writing about it in your blog makes it obvious extortion, and you probably aren’t going to get away with it.

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